Saturday, December 31, 2011

An Open Letter to 2011.

Dear 2011:

What can I say? We've been through a lot together. The good, the bad, the ugly. Even the "literally scared for my life."

We started out OK. Nothing eventful. But as time went on, things started getting tough.

First, there's only so much you can take from a certain person who claims to be a friend only to FINALLY realize that over the years, you've been stabbed in the back so many times, you start feeling like a fucking cheese grater. Though I can't really blame him for EVERYTHING. I could've removed myself from the situation many times. I had the opportunity but never had the heart to do it. I then reverted back to my old self for a while. The whole "I'd rather put up with bullshit than be completely alone." But the time finally came when I just said "Enough is enough." I'd rather be completely alone than be in a friendship with someone so toxic. "Let go of the ones who try to put you down." right? Right.

Thing is, after I got away...I wasn't alone. I was left with friends who, sure, I haven't known for very long but that in that short amount of time have showed me more respect than Mr. Toxic did in eight very long years.

Those friends were there through everything. Sure, there are some whom I have never actually MET  before. Others who I rarely get to see and miss like crazy. But...they were there when those internal demons reared their ugly heads and I needed to tell the world to go fuck itself. Some of them agreed. They were there to share some of the best moments I've experienced in a very long time.

But more importantly they were there on that Monday morning in September when I thought my entire world was about to collapse around me. My family has gone through some crazy shit but never have we experienced something so scary and eye opening. I mean, 2010 threw a shitter at us too but this one was different. The aftermath is still lingering. It will for a long time but we're gonna get through it. Eventually.

Without my friends... I honestly don't know what I would have done. I would've been lost.

Let's move on to something...not as bad. The lack of concerts, 2011? Not cool. I didn't see my RockStar. That's never OK with me. I've never gone more than four months without seeing him. I mean, OK...I've only been "hardcore" for (almost) 2 yrs but still. It's now been a year since that crazy ass Tucson trip. Too. Damn. Long.

OK fine, enough with the bad stuff, 2011. Let's recount the good times we had together.

This year I can honestly say that I'm a very proud aunt. My oldest niece and nephew graduated high school. I figured they both were going to take some time off before deciding what they want to do. But no, a few months ago they both decided to enroll in a Medical Assistant program. They're doing good.

My Curly-Haired started pre-school. That's huge. See, he was born with a cleft palate. He's gone through two surgeries to correct it and probably will have to go through a few more. Because of this, his speech isn't perfect. But since starting school and continuing speech therapy, he's improved so much. He's no longer embarrassed to carry on long conversations. Hell, I can't get him to shut up. XD

My (not so) baby sister is having a baby. A boy due in April. Pretty sure we have enough kids to form a basketball team now. LOL

Speaking of basketball, my Mini-Me made the team. THAT is huge. After that hell-ish Monday in September, we weren't sure she'd be able to. Oh and she's in 8th grade. High school for her (and her cousin) next fall. Scary.

Remember before how I mentioned that I didn't get to see my RockStar this year? Well, not all was lost. One day a couple months ago I went to get my mail. I saw two packages for me. One was from  Emily. I knew what it was. She was sending me a stack of Ryan Star postcards. I was kind of intrigued by the second one. I wasn't expecting anything. It was from one of my most favorite girls, Lisa. As I opened Lisa's package I saw a note that said something a long the lines of "Read the first one. It's SPECIAL." I looked further and it was another stack of postcards like the ones Emily sent me. I looked at the first one and there was a short, sweet message from Ryan. I cried like a baby. It was a mixture of missing him, the message, and the sweet gesture from Lisa. I was overwhelmed. Lisa, if you're reading this: Thank you, forever. <3

Shortly after, I was sitting home having a weird night as it was, but also wishing I was at the Ryan Star concert that Lisa and one of my other favorite girls, Julie were attending that night. Julie text me to tell she was in line to talk to Ryan. (I think) we exchanged a couple messages before telling her to give him a big hug from me. A couple hrs later, I get another text from Julie telling me she's going to call me in a few minutes. Hmm. My niece was sitting in my room with me, I kind of wanted to kick her out, but I didn't. ;) About 5 minutes later, my phone rings. She says she's a few people away from Ryan and that she's going to hand him the phone so I can talk to him!!! I almost died! Julie and I talked for a minute while she was waiting. Long story short: There were a ton of people waiting to talk to him so it was very brief. THE absolute best 10 second conversation Of. My. Life. I remember "Guadalupe!" (OMG HE SAID MY NAME!) and "I love you." I literally started hyperventilating. I mean, I was able to get "I love you too" out but after that? Could. Not. Breathe. - Julie, I will never be able to thank you enough for that. Thank you, thank you, thank you forever and ever. <3

Lastly... Oh yeah, I met that other rockstar (and his band) that I kind of like. David Cook. That night was insane. It was all so surreal and amazing. I got a hug from him, Kyle, and Monty. I also got to give them all a WNCC necklace. That was the best moment of the night. And I got to share all of it with my favorite concert buddy, Laura! <3

There we go. My year in a (really big) nutshell.

Unfortunately the time has come. I'm not sure how to break this to you, 2011 but I think it's time we go our separate ways. Don't get me wrong, the good times were amazing and I learned a lot from the bad. It's just...I'm over you. I've found someone else. I can't guarantee that 2012 will be amazing, All I can do is hope. It's what's best for the both of us. You'll be fine. I promise.

I'll always remember you as one of the craziest years of my life and I wish you the best. You have until 11:59 (ha!) tonight to pack your stuff and leave. 2012 will be moving in promptly at midnight.

Thank you for everything.


P.S. Please take everything with you. My heart can't handle any reminders of you.