Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Some Nights.

Buenos dias, ladies and dudes. Actually, it's 11pm.

I'm trying this neat app on my phone for blogger. Perfect for when I'm not on my laptop. But I'm more prone to typos so be kind.

I want to say that a lot has happened since the last time I blogged but that's not really true. It just feels like a lot has happened. Especially in the last few weeks.

I've been overwhelmed. My brain has been filling up with all kinds of nonsense. Insomnia has given me a lot of time to think. Too much time, actually.

Before I fell in love with music, there were boys. But see, I've never had a boyfriend. Didn't know that, huh? Yeah well, that's not really something I wanna shout from the rooftops.

As a teenager, that was a horrible feeling. I used to hang out with a girl who had guys practically kissing the ground she walked and she took full advantage. I soon realized just how much I despised her for that. That friendship lasted too long.

Then, there was the best friend (and I use the term loosely) who I fell for. I was head over heels until the mind games started.

It took years for me to get over it. Years for me to feel ok about myself enough to let it go. Once I realized that I had zero feelings for him, I started accepting that being single isn't the worst thing on earth.

Of course I accepted it. I had music to lean on. My mind had more important things to focus on.

Until recently. I started realizing that I may be developing feelings for someone. The more I think about it, the more I freak out. I haven't had so much as a crush on anyone since the other guy.
The thing is... I don't know him as much as I would like to. But I do know that he's a far better human being than any of the idiots who've screwed me over.

Who knows? Maybe it's JUST a crush and it'll pass soon. Or maybe it's more than that. I need to sort it all out before I dive in heart first.